the end to yet another day in the life of CG

Song playing: "Oklahoma Girl" --Eli Young Band

Alright, the end has come to yet another day in the life of Cody Giles.

So, last night was a great night. I was reminded why it is that I strive to live the life I do. And of course, referring to the SHORT leash my God keeps on me, it occurred SHORTLY after my last blog posted. There ya go.    :)

Worked this morning from 8-2. I am beginning to think that I need to stop complaining about my life so much. I know that seems like a bit of a "no kidding" statement, but I really do a lot of complaining, even if only in my head. My life isn't anywhere near where it's going to be one day, but I'm living in the here and now. And while I am preparing for the future, I feel I need to live each day in the present to its fullest. No, I am not trying to be over-philosophical, just making a statement.

I went and saw The Social Network today and I have to say that I was pleased. The story was quite an interesting one. I'm not completely sold on the accuracy of the "facts" presented, but all in all, an entertaining flick.

I have a busy week ahead of me:
Tues: Volleyball practice at 6.30
Wed: film Week 2 NFL game-balls results, then church
Thurs: not quite sure yet, still a "?"
Fri: I feel like there is something for this day, but at the moment, I'm drawing a blank.
Sat: Shooting the wedding of one of my best friends, Kelli Pollard (soon-to-be-Ford). I really am anxious about shooting weddings, especially those of my good friends.

And Lovebug's birthday party is coming up on the 23rd. SO excited. I have been able to keep her present a surprise and a secret since Feb. Quite proud of that fact. I am so excited to FINALLY be able to reveal it.   :)

OK. I'm calling it a night.

Prayers welcomed.

Mascot saved by grace.

Feeling a void.

I am void of something. Maybe someone. Who knows? God. Obviously. But He's yet to feel me in. Maybe he has. Maybe I don't get it. Maybe I'm too stubborn to listen, or too jumbled. I don't know.

I had a great day today with my little brother Austin. We ate at Genghis Grill and then went to the Harbor then to some random clothing places.

The Rangers and the Cowboys lost. Bad sports day.

I'm sitting up at Stbux waiting for Micah to get here and just chill.

I need to do something with my life. That much is CERTAIN. I feel absolutely lost. Insecure. Inept. Unable to make that next step. I don't know where to go from here.

I just feel as if there are eyes watching me, waiting for me to do something. Something with my degree. And I should. But how? Where? When? I "know" that I "can't" leave Greenville right now. I feel like I have a role here. A purpose. A calling at the moment. My church, my little brothers, and the other families I have contact with. I love them to the very core of me.

I was reminded two weeks ago, by a great friend that there will NEVER be a "perfect" time to leave. And it COULD be that I'm scared. Scratch that....I AM terrified. I don't know what to do. At all.

My fear is fueled by insecurity. Period. Bottom line. I don't feel up to it. It's something that I've battled my entire life. And it's something that I need to give to God. I really do. And I feel like I have in some way. But I still feel like sometimes it controls me. It wrecks me. I can't run fast enough from it. It's ridiculous. I HATE it.

Ok, so I'm done for the night.

Prayers welcomed.

Mascot saved by grace.